One shots: Shikamaru and Temari
by I-Heart-Hatake-Kakashi
Summary: Shot 2: All Women Are Troublesome...
1. Think Brain!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto

**A/N**: I know, with 3 fics in-progress, probably not a good idea to start a new one… but what can I say? Variety is the spice of life… plus it was always my intention to have four one-shot collections up at once… (NaruSaku is next XP)

I wasn't planning on staring this collection for a while, but I was inspired to "continue" an underlining theme from "MYSTERIOUS VALENTINE," my latest shot in 1S:NxT…

So enjoy my 3rd favorite Naruto pairing… and forget about complaining that it's too short! (although it is almost 2000 words). I only gave myself an hour to write it and this is what came out.

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**_**THINK BRAIN!  
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"Troublesome." Shikamaru mumbled under his breath as he kicked a pebble in front of him, while walking toward the Hokage tower.

Moments earlier his father had asked him to deliver a package to the tower; just now, Shikamaru realized he had forgotten to ask who the box was to be delivered to. It didn't matter though; he had more pressing issues to concern himself with. Besides, he was certain he'd be able to figure out who the contents of the plain brown box were meant for when he got there; they didn't call him a genius for nothing.

"Troublesome Ino." Shikamaru muttered.

It was all the blond kunoichi's fault, after all. In fact, he wouldn't have even been caught up in this bothersome errand if she hadn't bailed on him. But what did he expect? He should have known better than to count on her. True, they were friends and teammates; they practically grew up together, what with their father's being best friends. Still, Shikamaru couldn't help but blame the gossiping Yamanaka and her eternal need to meddle in other people's affairs, for his present problem. He had actually been counting on her incessant nosiness to motivate her to help him with his current dilemma, but he never could have guessed that bigger gossip would have suddenly distracted her; leaving him deserted.

"Troublesome Ino." Shikamaru repeated, dragging his feet as he continued his slow walk to the tower. "Serves her right if Hyuga ends up killing her!" he mumbled, as he remembered his warning to the kunoichi about her current, self-imposed 'mission'.

Shikamaru was certain that if Tenten allowed the blond to live through the previous night's offence, Neji would certainly _**not**_ be as forgiving. Shikamaru had tried to warn her to butt out; but that girl just did not know how to listen. It would be her own fault if anything happened; karma for flaking out on him.

_It's not like I really need her though_. Shikamaru told himself, as gripped the small box tighter in his left hand.

He had considered asking Choji for his help with the matter, but realized it would have been useless considering, what he needed, was a female perspective. Problem was, Shikamaru found the majority of the female population troublesome, including all those that he was acquainted with. But finding himself in such a desperate situation, Shikamaru was more than willing to deal with whatever troublesome girl he could find to help him out. Unfortunately, beside his own mother, there really weren't that many females he knew that well. There was, of course, Sakura, who wasn't all that different from Ino, as far as Shikamaru was concerned. She would have made an excellent substitute for the blond, if not for the fact that the pink-haired medic was current engrossed in the same idiotic scheme as Ino, so she was definitely out of the question. Besides, Shikamaru wasn't so sure he could put up with another Ino.

Then there was Hinata. She was a lot less annoying than the other two kunoichi of the rookie nine, but with her immobilizing shyness, Shikamaru doubted the Hyuga heiress would be of very much help; she'd probably be too passive to give any sort of opinion on anything anyway. The only other alternative was Tenten, who was probably the most logical choice for this sort of thing.

Tenten was different from the other three, and much more suitable in tastes and character to provide him with the most useful help anyway. The only problem was, she already had a lot on her plate at the moment. Of course, it was likely she would have helped anyway since she was, as yet, unaware of the current situation Ino and Sakura were developing for her. But still, unlike those two, Shikamaru had no intention of incurring the Hyuga's wrath upon himself by defying Neji's warning to mind their own business.

"Idiots!" Shikamaru scoffed as he thought of the trouble those two (and which ever of the guys they managed to dope into going along with their ploy) would inevitably face.

"ffh… aaaaaagh!" Shikamaru agitatedly rubbed his head with his one free hand as he tried to scan his brain for a solution to his problem.

_Think Brain!_ He was beginning to grow frustrated with the whole situation. No matter what he came up with, nothing seemed right.

"Hmph." Suddenly the lazy shinobi plopped himself down right where he stood. Placing the small paper box directly in front of him, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply; trying to calm himself and settle his restless mind. Bringing both hands together, in the form of a square made by his fingers, Shikamaru assuming his habitual thinking pose.

_Flowers?_ Shikamaru thought. _Too cliché_. Plus, he reasoned he would have to see Ino at the flower shop, and chances were she and Sakura had already managed to get themselves into some kind of trouble. He didn't much feel like having them nag him into helping them get out of their problem; not when he needed help out of _**his**_ problem.

_Candy?_ He remembered that Ino and Hinata had been very happy to receive the chocolate filled, heart shaped boxes that Lee had presented them with the pervious night, but Shikamaru didn't think chocolate was the right idea. Plus, he wouldn't even know which kind to chose.

_Jewelry?_ Lee had also given Sakura a small necklace, but Shikamaru dismissed the idea of jewelry quickly. It seemed much too sentimental. This was all still fairly new territory, and he didn't think jewelry was appropriate quite yet.

_This is getting me nowhere!_ Shikamaru tightened his eyes in exasperation. Even though he had played out a hundred different scenarios and ideas, he couldn't seem to find something that would actually work. It was really starting to get on his nerves; and only further proved his point that all women were troublesome.

_Think Brain!_ Shikamaru once more demanded.

_THUNK_. A forceful weight pushed him from behind, sending him crashing into the floor in front of him; resulting in him landing on top of the paper box his father had entrusted to him.

"What the - ?" Shikamaru lifted himself and the crushed box off the ground, turning with speed uncharacteristic to the lazy shinobi. "What's the big idea?" he demanded as he turned to face whoever had just kicked him.

"What kind of moron takes a seat in the middle of a crowded street?" asked a familiar blond sand ninja; a challenging smirk on her face.

Shikamaru was surprised to see the sand siblings standing in front of him. Taking in the kunoichi's words, Shikamaru realized for the first time exact where it was he had decided to take his strategizing pose. He had been so lost in his own thoughts that he had completely blocked out everything, even failing to realize that he had sat down in one of the busiest streets in the village.

"What do you care where I chose to sit?" Shikamaru replied defiantly, after he regained his composure.

"I don't." Temari retorted, falling back into their usual routine of bickering.

"Hey look Temari," Kankuro interrupted, "You made him break his little box." He pointed at the crushed box in the leaf ninja's hand. "Hope it wasn't anything important."

"Oh great!" Shikamaru irritatedly moaned, as if just noticing the object in his hand. The lazy Nara pulled the box up to his face to examine the damage caused.

"Let me see." Temari snatched the tattered box out of his hand, tearing it apart to look at the condition of it's contents. _GASP_. Temari flinched, before turning up face the lazy-nin. Taking a few steps closer to the younger shinobi, she leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Thank you Shika-kun." She smiled gratefully.

"Y-you're welcome." Shikamaru answered, too stunned to do anything else. He wasn't quite sure where that had come from; that is, until he looked down at the kunoichi's hands and realized she was holding a stuffed toy deer with a big red ribbon on it.

_What the hell?_ Shikamaru wondered as he saw the stuffed animal.

"To Temari-chan, Happy Valentine's Day. Love Shikamaru." Kankuro read the paper tag attached to the ribbon. "'Love' aye?" Kankuro smirked teasingly.

Shikamaru immediate went red in the face. He was certainly grateful that his father had given him the solution to his problem, _but did he have to go and embarrass me at the same time?_ He inwardly groaned, seeing the mocking look on Kankuro's face. He was pretty sure even the silent Kazekage had a slight look of amusement in his eyes. But at least Temari looked happy as she hugged the stuffed deer close to her.

_What a drag_. Shikamaru began walking off toward the Hokage tower, knowing that was the direction the three sand ninja were headed to. _But at least she didn't find out I forgot_…

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**_**THE END  
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**A/N**: Okay, so it took a little under two hours… that's still pretty quick by my standards. Furthermore, I avoided the footnotes (though I had been tempted to use a few) and I managed to keep my objective of making this a little vague until the very end. Didn't want to make it too obvious what he was stressing about until Temari actually showed up. Anyway, that's my first attempt at a ShikaTem… well technically my second attempt… my first attempt was in **Soraoi**, but that one turned more into a GaaraOC than a ShikaTem… so this is the "real first"… XP

In the future I'll probably have more fluff in them, but for now, this will work.

I will be completely upfront with you now… don't even bother with the "**update soon**," because it isn't going to happen… simply stated, as much as I love ShikaTem (which I do, just like I love KibaHina and NaruSaku)… they don't even come within an iota of a fraction of my love for NejiTen… so all these other collections will likely be secondary (as in, if I update once a month, that would be a lot… come to think of it… haven't updated my KibaHina collection in OVER a month… yikes!)

This is basically my first real attempt at writing this pair, so I could probably use the feedback… **Please REVIEW. XD**


	2. All Women Are Troublesome

**Disclaimer: **Naruto and all Naruto related stuff is (c) Masashi Kishimoto. All OCs and original storyline/plot/imagination (c) of ME!!

**A/N**: I know, I know… it's been nearly a year since I updated this collect, but to be honest I did say I probably wouldn't be updating this one that often (and that if I did they'd be short)… I'm much more of a NejiTen writer (as if anyone couldn't already guess… lol), so all my best story ideas I tend to use on them… but I do love Shikamaru and Temari too… XD…

WARNING: Mild InoCho mentioned.

DEDICATION: I dedicate this shot to Midnight Memories … _1_ Because she asked for this to be a story. _B… no 2_, because she's awesome (maybe that should have been "1"…) ._ 3 or C_… because she loves ShikaTem and she was feeling down, so I hope this cheers her up… and _coming in a very low 4… or D, or that little iv in brackets that always comes before footnotes_… because I needed to update this collection. ENJOY!

(_kudos to anyone who knows where the italicized counting comes from… I love David Tennant!)…(__**1**__)_

_**THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS!!**_

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**_**ALL WOMEN ARE TROUBLESOME  
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Shikamaru waited impatiently in front of the pink curtain ruffling a few feet away. His hands were beginning to grow numb from the pressure exerted on them. He wasn't sure exactly how many stores he had gone through already, but the shopping bags in his arms clearly indicated that it had been far too many.

It was his day off damn it!

Shikamaru had been working without a break for three weeks; he was drained. Today was the day he was supposed to be resting. That's what people did on their day off; they rested! They didn't get up at six o'clock in the morning to run errands!

What kind of person woke someone up on their day off at six in the morning to go shopping anyway? The stores didn't even open until seven or eight!

"…" Shikamaru stared out into the blue sky. Oh how he longed be out there; resting somewhere quiet, staring up at the peaceful clouds as they lazily drifted by above him.

Well, that _had_ been the plan; sadly, ever since _that woman_ came into his life, Shikamaru's plans very rarely ever turned out the way _he_ wanted them.

"Troublesome." Shikamaru quietly mumbled as he waited in front of the changing room, hoping this was the last outfit she would try on and his torture would finally be coming to an end.

Why was it that his entire life, the lazy ninja seemed to be cursed with being surrounded by troublesome women?

First his mother; who was perhaps the most overbearing, pushy, opinionated woman to ever walk the earth. Growing up with a mother who was constantly nagging about every little thing had given Shikamaru great insight into the female mind. They were quick-tempered, loud, and bossy. His mother had never been in short supply of criticism about how Shikamaru needed to try harder, work longer, sleep less… And then, as if having an overbearing mother at home weren't bad enough, at school he was cursed by having to sit next to the loudest blond kunoichi he had ever met; worst still, the Hokage later made that same kunoichi part of his genin cell.

"Tsk. She's Chouji's problem now." Shikamaru scoffed; thinking of the suffering his best-friend undoubtedly endured, being married to their former teammate.

'_Is she finished yet?'_ Shikamaru wondered as he stared at the moving pink fabric; not daring to voice his question aloud.

Deciding that she was going to be taking longer, Shikamaru began searching the immediate area for a chair or bench to sit on,; eventually settling for the floor, finding that the nearest seat was far too troublesome to drag himself over to. Pressing his hack against a shoe shelf, Shikamaru set the multiple bags of clothes and other supplies down next to him as he sighed deeply; wondering how much longer it would be.

This was all _her_ fault.

All Shikamaru had even wanted was a simple life. And ordinary life, with an ordinary wife; not too pretty, not too ugly, and definitely not too troublesome. That's what he wanted; but instead, what did he get?

Of all the people to fall in love with, Shikamaru had to fall for the most unordinary girl there ever was. She was far from normal.

She was a princess from a foreign land for crying out-loud!

She certainly wasn't the normal girl Shikamaru had hoped for. And she was definitely far prettier than he'd wanted.

And as far as being troublesome?...

Of all the women Shikamaru had ever met, Temari was by and large the single most troublesome woman he had ever seen. His mother didn't even compare to the degree of troublesome that Temari personified. She was loud, obnoxious, overbearing, ill-mannered, sadistic, and just altogether difficult.

"Tch." Shikamaru scoffed. What could he do now?

Sure, he hated having to be bossed around and kept from his precious bed on his days off, but, damn it he loved that vexing woman! She drove him crazy!... In more ways then one.

"…" Shikamaru defeatedly slumped down into his seat.

What right did he have to complain? It was his own fault for marrying the woman. Thanks to her, now he had to play errand boy on his days off, instead of enjoying the peaceful tranquility of a hill-side nap, as he stared enviously at the drifting clouds above.

"haah." Shikamaru sighed.

At this point there was nothing more he could do but resign himself to the knowledge that he would forever be plagued with troublesome women in his life.

"Daddy?" the pink curtains ruffled open, as a sandy-haired five year old poked her head out from behind the material. "Can we go to one more store after this one?"

"…" Shikamaru stared traumatized by his daughter's request.

"It's just…" Matsumi smiled sweetly at her father. (**2**) "I want to make sure I'm really ready for my first day of school tomorrow. Is that okay?"

Scratch that. His curse wasn't to be plagues with troublesome women, it was that each woman who came into his life was always even more troublesome then the last.

"haah." Shikamaru sighed. He could never say no to her. "Hai." The lazy genius begrudgingly nodded.

All women were troublesome; even the miniature ones. (**3**)

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**_**THE END  
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FOOTNOTES:  
(1) Doctor Who… Voyage of the damned.  
(2) Matsumi is Shika and Temari's daughter in my story FIVE NOBLE CLANS….  
(3) I will not tell you were that last piece was inspired from (reply to any reviews that ask though)… but if you don't know, that's just so very very sad…

**A/N**: Okay, hope you liked it… if anyone wants another one, you're going to have to request with plot ideas because, like I said, my inspiration tends to only/mostly be NejiTen…

Hehehe... it's so funny, I wrote the latest chapter of 5NC and finished around 10:30 i think... and I thought... "wow, i'm actually writing a fic before 2am" and then i go off to do other things, come back and start writing another one... of course I finished at 1, but... wow... i just can't get away from this whole "posting at/near 2am" insomniac habit...XP


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